Mama's Lullablog

Honesty hour: literally days (maybe not even plural?) after posting The wedding plans, part I, I had a complete wedding meltdown.

Want to know what triggered me? Our catering quote. Oy with the poodles already.

I naively didn’t anticipate food and alcohol costing as much as it’s going to cost, and when I added the anticipated total to what we’d already spent, I lost my ever-loving mind.

Essentially, I saw our future down payment slipping away, and I got angry. So angry. At the wedding industry. At the fact we would have/should have/could have eloped. At the thought of adding people to our guest list who I’ve not spoken to in years.

The whole sha-bang had me reeling.

I wanted to forgo the money we’d already spent and call the wedding off. I even texted my future sister-in-law and asked when they planned to be in town over Christmas because I was already planning a tiny AirBnB holiday wedding.

I yelled at my parents on the phone and essentially blamed them for forcing us into hosting a wedding. Then, I accused my fiancé of not being involved in the planning process.

Y’all, it was an ugly weekend. U-G-L-Y UGLY.

But then my sweet, patient future husband talked me off the ledge.

He reminded me that this day we’re planning is about more than the food and the venue and the guest list. That it’s going to be one of the best days of our lives because we’re making a commitment to one another. And he confessed that he truly did want his friends and family to be part of it, and that he viewed our honeymoon as the special “just us” time versus an elopement.

And he offered some much needed perspective on the budget.

• It’s my parents’ money, not ours.
• Whether we’re left with $15K or $5K to put toward a down payment, it’s still more money than we expected to have before we got engaged.

I’m writing this to say that wedding planning hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies as my previous post suggested. If you’re planning a wedding and you’re freaking out right now, that’s totally normal. Ride the waves, sister.

The list

In my last post, I shared a few things that were next on our wedding planning checklist: engagement photos, hotel blocks, hair and make-up, rentals for the reception, invitations + wedding website, and transportation.

I’m happy to report that some of these are booked, woohoo!

HMU & Transportation

Our wedding coordinator recommended vendors for hair and make-up and transportation, so that made booking easier for me. I went with two of her top choices: WINK for hair and make-up, and Carolina Livery for transportation.

Engagement photos

Our engagement photos are happening Tuesday, yay! Here’s what I plan on wearing:

Those are the shoes I’ll be wearing on our wedding day, too!

Invitations & Wedding Website

I think this is the update I’m most excited about! We created our wedding website 🙂 Madison helped me pick the perfect design on theknot.com, and IT HAS A MATCHING STATIONERY SUITE. It’s called Vintage Mountain Blue.

Rentals for the reception

My original plan was to visit the rental showroom this month to pick out farm tables, a bar, plates and linens. But before we can do that, we need to design a tentative layout of the space to determine how many items we want and need. Our coordinator offered to do a walk-through of the venue with us to help with a layout, which I am GRATEFUL for, but the site visit is postponed until next month due to rooftop renovations currently underway.

That’s OK though, because I’ve decided to go with disposable/compostable plates, napkins, and utensils. I thought back to all the weddings I’ve attended, and I can’t remember what the dinnerware looked like at any event, which proved to me that I don’t need fancy things because nobody is going to care.

I’m still interested in renting farm tables, but I’m going to see what the venue’s tables look like and whether or not they’ll suffice. I mean, if they’re decent, it’s one less vendor to work with and one less deposit to make. Can I get an amen?

Hotel block

After mulling it over a bit, I decided to nix the hotel block. People stay where they want to these days, whether it’s at a hotel where they’ve racked up some points or at an AirBnB. We listed a bunch of local spots on our wedding website and crossed a hotel block off our to-do list.

The changes

Ha! So, the beautiful (and risky) part of buying décor early in the wedding planning process is that you can (and will) change your mind.

The flowers

In my last post, I mentioned sola wood flowers I planned on purchasing from a local vendor. That was before I discovered Ling’s Moment (thank you, bridal Facebook groups!).

In a matter of weeks, I purchased every bit of floral décor I need for our ceremony and reception.

• My bouquet and four bridal bouquets, which come packaged in DIY boxes that we’re going to assemble ourselves during my bachelorette weekend.
• Floral garlands for every reception table.
• A floral garland for the ceremony arch.
• Two stand-alone pre-made floral pieces to use at the entryway of the ceremony aisle.
• Florals for the welcome sign.

(Photos from Ling’s Moment website.)

And thennnn I set up the table décor on our dining room table to see how it all looked together. You know, just to make sure the vision in my head translated well into real life.

The brown paper bags are going to hold our wedding favors (cookies from Appalachian Cookie Co.). And they look like this:

How cute are these?!

The centerpieces are made with hoops from Hobby Lobby and dollar-spot wooden numbers from Target. The cheesecloth table runner is from TableclothsFactory.

The arch

My excited, ambitious, newly engaged brain confidently planned to build a wooden wedding arch. (Well, confidently planned to have my dad build a wooden wedding arch.)

But when I found one on Facebook for $100, handmade by a local family (probably a dad whose daughter made him do it), I drove 30 minutes to Raleigh to pick it up.

It was HEAVY. And freaking HUGE. It barely fit in my car, and barely fit in our living room.

I regretted it almost instantly. I wanted to be able to assemble it inside and play around with draping the fabric and garland before the big day. That wasn’t going to happen with this sucker.

So, less than a month after I bought it, I sold it on Facebook marketplace to another local bride.

I replaced it with a metal circular arch that’s much more lightweight, super easy to assemble, and easy to store for the next year.

Coming up

Yesterday, I talked to my therapist about this need I have to check everything off my wedding to-do list. Even things that don’t have to be done until sometime next year. My brain likes boxes checked, plans made. Unfortunately, that means I think about wedding planning all day, every day. I even dream about it. And it’s exhausting.

My therapist recommended I break down my big ol’ wedding spreadsheet that includes everything from Madison’s attire to a marriage license and make a shorter list each month with only the things I want or need to focus on that month.

For example, August will include:

• Touring the venue.
• Designing a tentative layout.
• Maybe renting tables if we decide to do so.
• Adding engagement photos to our wedding website.
• Ordering save-the-dates.

Fingers crossed my next wedding planning post doesn’t include another meltdown confession 🙂