Mama's Lullablog

Buckle up, friends! Today’s post will include both wedding and writing updates.

Spoiler alert: I missed my March 24 deadline. (The best laid plans, am I right?) But only a handful of chapters stand between me and a finished first draft. I’ll dig into the details below.

And our wedding is 45 days away! I thought a 16-month engagement would drag, but here we are. The big day is always on my mind, and I’m desperately trying to check all the things off my (never-ending) to-do list. I’m trying to focus on the excitement rather than the overwhelm. More on that in a minute.

Book Stuff

Here are all the updates about writing my debut novel.

No More Deadlines

I have a love-hate relationship with structured routines.

In my last post, I outlined my plan to write from 6:15-8:15 a.m. every weekday (mornings are quiet, need to balance my other work responsibilities, etc. etc.). That lasted a few weeks.

But in the days leading up to March 24, I had tens of thousands of words unwritten, and I felt immense pressure to get them on the page. I felt like a failure. Another ditched routine. Another unmet deadline. Will I ever finish this book?

Thankfully, I have a wise fiancé who reminded me that I’m the one who set the deadline, and I have full authority to amend it. He encouraged me not to sacrifice my well-being for the sake of saving my pride. (I was embarrassed and ashamed to admit to y’all that I’d foiled the plans I published on this blog.)

I took his advice, and then I took some time off.

Part of me was intimidated by what it was going to take to finish. And part of me was tired. I was working two jobs and had commitments almost every weekend throughout March and April.

I learned two big lessons this spring:

1. It’s better for me to focus on telling the story and to write as often as I can than to focus on a deadline and to rush the process.
2. I can say no to things that harm my well-being.

Which brings me to my next update.

Done with Social Media

Late last year (or early this year?) I started an author Instagram account. I assumed I’d need one to build an audience. But I spent more time scrolling Reels on the couch than I did connecting with potential readers, and no amount of time on the app ever made me feel good.

Apart from my scrolling addiction, I felt compelled to become the next great #Bookstagrammer (a tall task, I know). I began comparing my feed to other bookish feeds, and before long, Instagram occupied my brain.

I felt trapped. And then I realized I could say no.

It wasn’t enough to set time limits on my phone (tried it) or even to delete the app from my home screen. If I truly wanted to be free from the negative impact of Instagram, I had to delete my account.

Not surprisingly, they make it difficult to actually delete your account, but I did it, and my world instantly expanded. I haven’t missed it one bit.

Sometimes I wonder whether or not my non-presence on social media will affect my future as an author. But I’ve decided that if someone doesn’t want to represent me or to publish my book because I choose self-care over social media, then I’m OK with that.

56,524 Words and Counting

So far, I’ve written 22 chapters (out of the 28 I’ve outlined), and more than 56,000 words. To be honest, I have no idea how many words or Google Doc pages makes for an appropriately-long fiction book.

Mary Adkins, a three-time HarperCollins author who publicly shares that her debut novel landed her a $155,000 advance, says 70,000 is a reasonable ballpark to aim for. Given her experience in the biz, I’m inclined to trust her advice.

[Listen to Episode 7 of the Bookfluencer Podcast for my review of her book, When You Read This.]

I remember how daunting it felt to write 20,000 words, and then 30,000, and then 50,000. I’m so proud of myself for making it this far, and I’m confident I can write less than 14,000 more words to wrap up my draft. I mean, once you’ve written 50K, what’s 14K?!

Wedding Stuff

Because I did way more than I needed to last summer, the fall and winter were pretty uneventful, which was a welcomed reprieve. Here are all the updates about wedding planning!

Madison’s Tux

Madison and I visited Bernard’s Formalwear in Durham at the end of March to pick out his tux. A lovely woman named Rana helped us out, and she allowed Madison to try on the whole ensemble (as opposed to just the coat and tie).

He chose a light gray tux and a light blue tie. His best man will wear a dusty blue tie to match my maid of honor’s dress color, and the remainder of his groomsmen will wear light blue bowties.

I loved seeing him all dressed up. Swoon.

Wedding Décor

I’ve been getting crafty, y’all! From table numbers to guest books to games, here’s how I’ve spent the past few months.

Hair and Make-up Trial

Earlier this month, my hair and make-up stylists did a trial run of my wedding-day look. I felt so glamorous sitting in their studio, having my hair and make-up done simultaneously. Shout-out to Cammy and Erik for making me feel so beautiful!

Honeymoon

We booked a yurt! We’ll be staying just across the border in Idaho (Jackson, WY is expensive), a mere 30-minute drive from Jackson Hole.

Our guests have started to purchase gifts from our registries, too (which is way more fun than I thought it would be), including a National Park pass for our visit to the Tetons, zip-lining passes, and tickets for the aerial tram! One of our guests funded a few dinners for us, too!

Madison and I are both looking forward to the honeymoon more than the wedding at this point (it’s just a lot, especially for two introverts).

Marriage License!

We picked up our marriage license TODAY!

I plan on changing my name after we get married, and I read online somewhere that how I filled out our marriage license application would affect the degree of name-change difficulty. For example, it was recommended I fill out the application with my future name, not my current name. But the North Carolina application didn’t instruct me to do that, and I’m a rule-follower.

Unfortunately, I fretted over this for way too long, and never got clarity. So what’d I do? I filled it out with my current name and decided to cross the name-change bridge when I get to it.

Why must everything be so complicated? (Why must I overcomplicate things?)

But now we’re officially official!