Mama's Lullablog

Woohoo, it’s wedding planning season!

I hope you’re excited because planning a wedding is a lot of fun. (Most of the time.) I’d be lying if I said there’d be no hiccups.

But I’m here to help! I planned my own summer wedding from start to finish, and I’m going to share #AllTheThings I learned along the way.

So, you’re recently engaged, you’ve set a date, and you’ve decided to host an intimate wedding (50-75 guests). Making those initial decisions is HUGE because they’ll influence all the other decisions you make, so kudos and ice cream to you and your fiancé. You’re doing great!

Now you’re wondering what to do next. Do you buy an outfit, book a venue, find a florist, sample cake flavors?

All in good time, my friend.

Before anything else, I recommend talking to your fiancé to decide what’s most important to you when it comes to your wedding.

What matters most to you?

There are a lot of decisions to make when it comes to planning a wedding. It’s best to prioritize the decisions that are particularly meaningful to you.

Focus first on your biggest priorities, and delegate your other tasks if possible. (My bridesmaids were SO willing to do anything I asked, and I wish I would have delegated more!) If you don’t have a wedding party, or aren’t able to delegate, prioritizing will help you decide which items to check off your to-do list first, as well as which items you’re willing to spend more money on.

Talk through each component on the list below, and sort them into high priority and low priority categories.

Component	High Priority	Low Priority
Theme
Ceremony
Reception
Sendoff
Venue(s)
Catering
Dessert
Photography
Music
Details
Rehearsal
Bar
Champagne toast
Attire
Beauty
Florals
Stationery
Transportation

Keep reading for an example of what my husband and I prioritized, and what we didn’t, and how that played out during our wedding planning process.

The people, the music, and the little details

Here’s an example from our wedding:

Component	High Priority	Low Priority
Theme		X
Ceremony	X
Reception	X
Sendoff		X
Venue(s)		X
Catering		X
Dessert		X
Photography	X
Music	X
Details	X
Rehearsal		X
Bar		X
Champagne toast		X
Attire	X
Beauty	X
Florals		X
Stationery		X
Transportation		X

By the time my fiancé proposed, I’d been to countless weddings, both as a bridesmaid (five times, and no, I didn’t keep the dresses) and as a guest.

Of all the weddings I attended, one thing stood out to me: personality. A wedding either had it or it didn’t.

And more than anything, I wanted our wedding to reflect our personalities. I wanted people to know they were attending Tiffany and Madison’s wedding, not a generic wedding where we happened to be the bride and groom.

Because this was so important to me, I prioritized the little details about our day, pictured below.

• Ceremony: personalized unity candle pottery, sentimental processional music, and a tribute to our deceased grandparents
• Reception: basketball-themed guest book, Air Jordan dancing shoes, handmade centerpieces, first-date favors, signature cocktails, and games

As for Madison, he’s really into music, so curating a soundtrack full of his favorite songs was a priority for him.

We walked down the aisle to recordings of Madison’s gran playing the organ, which he enhanced the audio of. He thoughtfully tested the venue’s speaker system, purchased a Bluetooth speaker for our ceremony, and set up all the tech so that it was easy to use.

And we both agreed that, to the extent possible, we wanted the people at our wedding — vendors included — to be people we knew, not strangers. So we chose not to hire a DJ, we selected a friend as our photographer (don’t worry, she’s a professional), and a close friend of mine officiated our ceremony.

What didn’t matter as much to us was our venue, our menu, dessert, a sendoff, and bar service.

We were still intentional about those choices, we just spent less time planning and deliberating over them. For example, we served pie instead of cake, and my mom (who’s an excellent baker) baked a blueberry pie for us to cut. For guests, we placed an order for individual mini pies from Wegman’s about a month before the wedding.

While florals weren’t a high priority for me, I did care about decorating tables and our ceremony space with coordinated colors and greenery. I just wasn’t willing to spend thousands of dollars on live flowers and installation. So I ordered all our flowers from Ling’s Moment. Beautiful and affordable!

Rank your priorities

As you can see, my husband and I had seven priorities for our wedding. Here they are ranked in order of time and attention:

1. Details
2. Music
3. Reception
4. Ceremony
5. Photography
6. Attire
7. Beauty

We spent the most time planning music and little details, which made our ceremony and reception meaningful to us.

For us, prioritizing photography meant we were picky about who we selected as our photographer, and opinionated about the range of shots she captured on wedding day.

I was THE MOST excited to find a wedding dress, and shopping with my mom and sister was super important to me. Madison is a fashionable man, so he was keen to select a stylish tux and accessories. But those decisions came relatively easy for us and didn’t require too much effort outside of coordinating fittings and scheduling alterations.

Beauty was a priority, so I secured a hair and make-up team early.

When in doubt, pick your venue first

You may decide that food, florals, and an Insta-worthy sendoff are among your biggest priorities, but it can be tricky to know how many floral arrangements you’ll need, and in which sizes, without knowing how your space is configured. Similarly, it’s hard to plan a sendoff when you don’t know where you’re leaving — busy city streets and rural dirt roads are very different vibes!

When in doubt, pick your venue first, even if it’s not a priority. All your priority decisions will come together more smoothly once you have a specific place to plan for.

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Happy planning!