Mama's Lullablog

Today, Madison and I celebrate two years of marriage 🥂

In my reflections on 6 months of marriage, I confessed I’d had a hard time slowing down and staying present after we tied the knot.

Well, having hip surgery in early 2024 forced me to do just that. We got to put “in sickness and in health” into practice as my racing mind shifted from thoughts of planning for the future to thoughts of making it through each moment.

Instead of using my PowerSheets to set goals around debt repayment, writing, or weight loss (like I typically did), I set one big wellness goal for the year: walk five miles; and one big family and financial goal for the year: buy a house. That was 2024.

We’re now halfway through 2025, and a lot has happened in that year and a half! Here are my reflections on 2 years of marriage.

Acts of service, dreaming together, and sharing loneliness

Love is sometimes an act of service

On January 9, 2024, I had hip surgery to repair a torn labrum. Madison and I had been married for just over six months.

We knew the surgery was coming. I’d been in pain for more than a year, gone through six months of physical therapy, had an MRI to confirm my injury, and gotten a last-ditch steroid injection before our wedding in hopes it’d delay the inevitable. Finally, after waiting much longer than I should have, I met with an orthopedic surgeon and scheduled my arthroscopy.

It was an outpatient procedure, so I was able to come home the same day, but with restrictions. I couldn’t bend past a 90 degree angle at my hips for at least four weeks. I had to walk with crutches for for more than a month. And I had to start physical therapy within a few days of surgery, continuing for a minimum of three months.

Neither Madison nor I realized how hard recovery was going to be for me, both physically and mentally, or how taxing caretaking would be for him.

I slept downstairs in our spare bedroom for at least a month because I couldn’t safely navigate the narrow stairs in our home using crutches. Madison moved our downstairs TV into that room so that I could entertain myself during the countless hours I spent in bed.

He brought me snacks, meals, and water, helped me monitor my medication schedule, walked Squirt every morning and evening, and drove me to my weekly (sometimes twice a week) physical therapy appointments (a 40-minute drive each way). He laid in bed with me to watch basketball games or movies.

Because I couldn’t bend at my waist, he also helped me get dressed and undressed every day. He helped me lower myself onto the toilet and get into and out of the shower. For weeks, I couldn’t do much of anything without his assistance.

There was one day when my emotions got the best of me, and in my frustration I lashed out at him for not having taken Squirt out early enough in the morning. (I’m ashamed to admit that, but it’s real.) Even on that day, when I’m sure I was the last person he wanted to be around, he put my socks and shoes on for me. He helped me stand up out of bed. He served me with love and compassion when I least deserved it.

Recovering from surgery taught me that love is sometimes an act of service and humility. It was a challenging time for both of us, but the grace he showed me on my darkest days, and the love he demonstrated through the little and big ways he cared for me was a testament to the vows we exchanged and the commitment we made to one another.

Dreaming together can be celebratory

On our one-year anniversary last year, we toured houses. Doesn’t sound super romantic, does it? Let me explain.

Earlier in June, we met with a Realtor to start the home-buying process, and she encouraged us to begin researching some areas. So, in the week before our anniversary, I ventured out to a few new-construction neighborhoods just to peek at the houses through my car window as I slowly drove up and down the streets. I took videos through my grimy windshield, excited to show Madison what I’d found.

When our anniversary rolled around, we considered a few ways to celebrate. I was so giddy about house-hunting that I suggested we take the day to visit the neighborhoods together. Nothing official.

We spent the entire afternoon touring new-construction homes in two neighborhoods, imagining what life would be like if we lived there. We could put the Christmas tree here. This would be a perfect game room. How many dishes could we fit in that sink?! Squirt would love this yard!

After an impromptu conversation with a sales consultant at one neighborhood, we actually drove to Greensboro (about 45 minutes away) to tour a model that she recommended for us based on our budget and what we wanted.

Days later, we were signing a contract to build that model on an empty lot in the neighborhood we’d toured while celebrating our anniversary.

I told a friend that I felt silly not celebrating with a romantic dinner or some other activity. Her response stuck with me: Dreaming together and planning for your future together is one of the best ways you can celebrate your love and your marriage.

Today, we live in that house we picked out last summer, on lot 23, which we agreed was a sign (because it’s Jordan’s number, obviously 😉). But I’ll cherish the moments we shared in those empty houses, dreaming together on our one-year anniversary.

Feeling alone is not the same as being alone

Right around our one-year anniversary, we decided to start trying to have a baby. Because we’re in our mid-thirties, we knew when we got married that we didn’t want to wait too long to start a family.

Side note: I used Natural Cycles as a non-hormonal birth control method and a pregnancy planning tool. I highly recommend it, and you can use my friends and family link to get 20% off an annual plan and a free BBT thermometer if you’re interested.

Of course, me being who I am, I read all the articles about pregnancy at advanced maternal age (ugh!) and familiarized myself with the odds. Still, I was optimistic at the start. I know many moms who conceived in their mid- to late-thirties (even in their early forties!) and carried healthy babies to term. As the months passed, though, my fears crept in.

At times, I felt alone. It was just me in the bathroom peeing on ovulation test strips and early detection pregnancy tests, hoping for a positive result. It was me taking my temperature every morning, praying it’d remain elevated that month, signaling implantation. It was me feeling the onset of menstrual cramps and discovering my period had arrived, yet again.

The most I’d say to Madison was, “I got my period today, just FYI.” In hindsight, I’m sure he was riddled with anticipation each month, too, perhaps wondering whether or not he should ask me about what was happening inside my body. But at the time, I didn’t think he would understand my fear and my worry.

About three or four months into trying, I opened up about how hard it was for me during those two weeks every month, analyzing every sensation in my body, Googling early pregnancy symptoms, getting my hopes up and then feeling disappointed. Although he couldn’t feel what I was feeling, he offered me reassurance. He reminded me that we shouldn’t yet be worried about fertility, and that if and when the time came to worry about it, we’d figure it out together. I may have felt alone in my body, but I wasn’t alone in our relationship.

Fast forward to today, and we’re seven months pregnant, expecting our little boy at the end of August! Pregnancy is similar to trying to conceive in that I often feel alone in my body. But talking about it helps, even if Madison can’t feel exactly what I’m feeling or physically experience the changes I’m going through. Knowing he’s by my side, willing to listen or to rub my back or to simply give me a hug and remind me I’m beautiful and strong, is enough to quell the loneliness that this incredibly personal journey can invite.

Memories to keep

Here are some of my favorite memories from our first two years of marriage. (Read about my favorite memories from our first six months of marriage, too!)

• Touring houses together to celebrate our one-year anniversary ❤
• Seeing Glass Animals live at a local outdoor amphitheater.
• Hiking five miles with Madison at Hanging Rock State Park after recovering from hip surgery!
• Hosting Thanksgiving and making turkey cranberry sliders instead of a big ol’ roasted turkey. It was a hit!
• Going to the Chinese Lantern Festival in the winter, drinking hot chocolate, and being mesmerized by all the elaborate light displays.
• Seeing the word “Pregnant” on the screen of the pregnancy test I took in December and feeling genuinely surprised, as I thought my cramps that month were indicative of my period.
• Hearing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time at our very first ultrasound, and feeling Madison’s hand touch my shoulder as we watched baby’s heart flutter on the monitor.
• Telling our parents and siblings we were pregnant. Ashley and I went to breakfast, and I shared the news while cheersing to a bite of biscuit. She cried, and we went window shopping at Pottery Barn!
• Signing the paperwork on closing day and moving into our first home!
• Rewatching the Marvel movies in chronological order.
• Finding out we were having a BOY! And recording the cake-cutting moment to share the news with family and friends.
• Finally escaping from an Escape Room with Madison and Ash in Durham.
• Watching Jeopardy with Madison during dinner.
• Vacationing at the beach with Madison’s extended family, playing cards and pool, searching for seashells, and watching Madison body surf in the waves 🙂

Happy summer, y’all!